Thursday, December 16, 2004


To quote Chief Stevenson from "Fear Nothing" by Dean Koontz... "I'm in a mood here...A seriously ugly mood..."

I can't get a job, my parents are getting pissed at me about it... I can't buy Xmas gifts (or if I do, they have to be CHEAP cuz I have to conserve what I have).. everyone in my family is judged on the number, relative value, and SIZE of the gifts... I can't get higher ed till I get a loan, which means get a job.. I'm being torn two ways by my parents about it( "Get FULL TIME" my dad says, cuz he hates me, and "Get PART TIME" by my mom, who wants me to go to school), my sister just tapped them for $8000 bucks for her schooling (which ended recently, in her success, but she NEVER INTENDS TO USE HER DEGREE.. so it's a wasted $8000 she'll never have to pay back...)

I'm burning with pent up rage for no apparent reason... can't sleep, don't have any good games to burn it off in (like Warrior Within, which is as close to a physical rage-fight I can get into and still walk out in one piece)...I can't find the proper gift for my friend, because they don't seem to carry it anymore (they did at one time but not now)... I am waiting for a particular response from someone I'm doing a collab fic with, before I can continue....

And I'm sure this is just the first section of what I'm really feeling, so it's Tip-O-Da-ICEBERG with me right now. If you think you know what's pissing me off, chances are, you only know 1% of it. Can't even comprehend the next 20%... and the rest? Yeah right. I'd be declared insane or worse.

I'm just gonna go fume for no reason right now.


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