The Dark Fantastic

Bigger than....

2006-06-27T00:43:00.000-07:00

I was doing a random search the other day, and while looking up 'Ithaqua' for a particular image, I happened upon designs for a pellet gun, made from designs for a gun from a particular anime that goes by the name 'Deus Ex Machina : Demonbane" or "Demonbane : Cry of the Mechanical God".

So I pulled up a few eps from youtube about it, and saw there was a hella LOT of HPL-themed name-dropping and stuff. XD I'm thrilled beyond belief. I mean, a combination of my TWO favorite things; an anime with big mecha, great characters, and cute gals, AND HPL based materials!

Just some of the names dropped in the first ep:

Doctor West (aka Dr. Herbert West, unfortunate star of "Herbert West, Reanimator") Apparently he's a slightly psychotic goofball with a rocket-launching guitar case, in the anime.

Al Azif (another name for the Necronomicon) A girl who is apparently a Grimoire written by Abdul Alhazred, the Mad Arab. The female lead of the series

"Nya" (short form for Nyarlathotep) A mysterious 'shopkeeper', who had a little trouble choosing a name that the main guy would NOT recognize. Being that she literally would have 1000 names, she had many to choose from. So, she chose 'Nya' as a short for 'Nyarlathotep', the Crawling Chaos.

Arkham city. In the anime, it's a foggy, almost 1930s-ish town on the seaside, rather pleasant in the day, but overrun with the mob (Black Lodge) during the night. Very neat to see that town in an actual physical form. (till now it's only been in my imagination)

Ithaqua and Cthugha : the iconic "Ice" and "Fire" Old Ones, they are now a pistol that's weilded. A warning about the pistol states that sometimes the terrible strength of Cthugha may be produced from it, causing massive damage.

And now, the lead guy has been turned into a long-haired, black garbed Magius that can manipulate the structure of his clothing and armour into.. well, anything I suppose. He has a single, all-red eye. The combination of the shape-shifting, and the 'blighted eye', makes me think he's supposed to be the 'Unnameable' thing from the story of the same name.

Deus Machina Aeon. I can only assume 'Aeon' is like that couplet from Al Azif 'That which is not dead can eternal lie/and over stranger aeons even Death my die".

If I can guess what it is that Dr. West is piloting... based on its design which is spider-like... I'd have to say it's Atlach-Nacha. But he calls it some damned thing like "Doctor West (something something) Special Number 28!" *shrug*

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and something named 'Cthulhu' to pop up.

Let's Talk Xmas Haul!

2005-12-26T20:46:00.000-08:00

Alrighty! Time for that time of year most people (forbidding those annoying PC people who prefer to relegate religious holidays ENTIRELY under the banner of a grotesque 'Happy Holidays' namby-pamby bullshit!), to celebrate Xmas, pretend to care about their fellow man or woman, and just be plain GREEDY! And as such, I'm compiling a list of the shit I got this year! (first time for everything)

*ahem* I've divided these up into their respective categories. :D

Money : Plain and simple, this is cash you get from relatives who think you're too old or too exceedingly eccentric/difficult to buy for, and so throw the contents of their wallets into a card as a way of a pseudo gift. Not that I'm complaining! :D

- $30 from Grandparents (Dad's side)
- $50 from Grandparent (Mom's side)
-$50 from rich engineer uncle (Hehe...)
-Futureshop Gift Card for $30 (booyah!)
- West Ed Mall gift card (good in all stores, but functions like a reverse VISA. Gotta use that bugger FAST!)

Stuff I Wanted : Stuff I wanted, whether it was on my list or not. Hell, some of it I didn't KNOW I wanted, till I got it!
- Cards from friends (Ironically. It felt kinda special to get an Xmas card from a few new friends. :) )
- FireFly complete series set (BOOYAH! Just need Serenity!)
- Family Guy Volume 3: Season 2 (Cool. Now I can cross watching most of Teletoon at night, off my list)
- Twilight Zone set, volume 1-5 (Just plain neat. No idea that William Shatner was in the original "Terror at 20,000 feet" ep!)
- Cloth blanket (I wanted this for my arms and legs whilst I sit here on this here comp, in the basement)
- Slippers (Needed a new pair. The old pair kinda... decayed faster than a body in lye. >_> )
- New sheets, comforter, etc, for bed (Nuff said.)

Stuff I NEEDED: Stuff that I didn't know I needed, but as they were somewhat neccessities, I did.
-New two-part Pjs. Nice and loose, and comfortable. (It's one of those pants-with-button-shirt things. They work well for winter)
- Roadside Emergency Kit (For my new ve-hi-CAL! Hehe.. needed something in case I get a flat, or stuck in the cold somewhere. Damned thing's pretty well equipped!)
- Glove compartment organizer (Sorta need it. Need a place to put maps, and such.)
- Facial cleanser. (HAR HAR. Very funny, people. My face is NOT that bad. In fact, it's improved drastically. But I welcome the cool, stinging mint feel of the astringent.)

Near as I can tell, that's what I got this Xmas, save for assorted little gude-an-plenty from the stocking, etc.

OH yeah! I'm going to start a new job as a CSA at the airport! (It's unfortunately a Red-Eye-flight deal... hours ranging from 10PM to 4AM, and all inbetween, but the money kicks ass, and I can still be online at night, and such! So not SO bad!)

This last week has been... well, great, really. :D

Thanksgiving fun

2005-10-09T00:25:00.000-07:00

Well, let's see.. what am I thankful for this year?

1: I'm thankful for my new car, which I am currently driving. It's a beauty alright. Nice little "Infernal Red" Dodge SX 2.0 . With cruise control, A/C and heat, and a spoiler. Sure, it'll take me seven years to pay it all off, but hey.. it's MINE.

2: Disturbed came out with their incredible "Ten Thousand Fists" CD. Listening to the first song always will send a shiver down my spine. The thought of looking outside and seeing Ten Thousand people standing in the streets, looking one direction (hopefully not at ME), with one fist raised in defiance to whatever is in that direction... Not to mention that the cover of the CD brought back that "Sickness Smilie" as I call it, from their first CD. Hehe.. "TTF" even has a tribute song to Genesis, in the form of a reworked Genesis song by the name of "Land of Confusion". Kick ass song, seriously.

I strongly encourage you to GET this CD. You won't regret it, if you're a Disturbed fan, even by association. It's worth the money you'll pay for it. (I got it cheap on release-day, so... Ha!)

3: Managed to get my classic SNES replaced, after the A/V cord connection point on the SNES itself gave out to fatigue, and the RF Adaptor decided to not work again. Never really knew how much I'd miss the SNES till I realized I couldn't play my old games, like Breath of Fire 1 and 2, Final Fantasy 6, Super Metroid (god, that'd be a shame to lose that one). Also found out that the Legend of Zelda : Link to the Past cartridge I bought, I should have inspected more thoroughly; some bastard dropped it in a puddle of pop or something, so the connectors are all corroded/gunky. Oh well... That's the way things go.

4: I'm thankful that I 'ran into' Syn. It's quite the shame I'll never meet her personally, but I'm happy for what I have in that. Won't stop my efforts here, in any case, but she gives me solace, company, and entertainment, in the ways I so very much desire. Again, a shame; were we to meet, I wonder just how compatible we might be?.... Ah, vagrant thoughts. XD gotta keep THOSE under wraps.

I'm also thankful to Kachine, for introducing us, albeit in a very unsubtle way. ;) Unsubtle, but her heart was in the right place, certainly.

5: I'm thankful to Roochak and RedStaR99 (Erik), for letting me use their characters in some of my stories, and I only hope my muse comes back to me soon, so I can show them how thankful I am. And I'm thankful to Antonio for granting me all those lovely pics of Tige Lei, and I hope to have the fic related to her finished for his viewing. Again, when my muse returns to me.

6: I'm quite thankful to Selina, for letting me write up some of the things we've talked about. Someday, I might show them to people, but not till I'm done writing them. And I'm thankful to Cara, for letting me borrow Arryl... *chuckle* well, borrow isn't the word, since she requested me to do a fic of Arryl. *grins* Some day, Cara, I'll be completely done it. For now, though, it looks like a junkheap of ideas to sort through for the gems to use.

7: I'm quite thankful for the kind responses to emails I've gotten from a number of professional artists. I know it takes a lot of time to read through all the fanmail, and answer each one or answer the ones that are of quality. So I'm glad I was in the 'good' pile. While I might wish that I knew them more on a friend-basis than on a 'fan talking to artist' basis, I'll have to settle for it. Just hope they know I hold their art in high regard, and as inspiration.

Wow. I didn't think I could come up with a list THIS long... O.o I might be able to add three more by the time TG rolls by (Canadian here, so we got ours for this long-weekend. XD HA! I get to have TG Turkey like, a month ahead of other people! LoL)

Nothing new other than that. Well, 'cept for like, my sis buying me my good friend Smirnoff as a kind gesture. LoL.

Reconstruction and Revival

2005-08-21T00:19:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been organizing my files and such, and removing things I did not need, or could store elsewhere. In the process, I luckily rediscovered an old copy of my original BoF Kaleb fic that I once submitted to the Windia RPG, a very long time ago. It was in a format my comp could no longer read (Corel Wordperfect Suite), so I had to wait ages to have a friend translate the files into MS Word form.

Now, I have restored those files to the website, in the Stories section (follow the "I'm Hungry" link on the main page.) Outside of that, I've been debating on whether to revive a slightly newer but still equally stalled fic that was Digimon fan-based. Only difficulty is, for the fan-created Digimon in question, I lack ANY transformations, and names. It's something I should really look into.

I've also recently had two fics put up on another site, in the forums there, and have gotten a few good reviews. Those two fics will be featured in a 'con-only produced storybook, which I'm proud to have fics in. Oh yeah, and my parents are now divorced. *shrug* Like we didn't see that coming from a mile away...

I had to redo this post, as some asshole put an AD in a comment.

Interesting turn of events.

2004-12-29T02:19:00.000-08:00

Not all for the better, I'd think.

See, my dad was getting outta the shower tonight, when he got a searing, stabbing pain from the back of his head, all the way to the front. Had me take him immediately to the hospital. They doped him up but good, but it wasn't doing anything for the pain (he was YELLOW with pain, that's how bad it was. He looked Jaundiced). So they CAT scanned'm.

Seems that the old saying "Burst a blood vessel" really DOES apply to my dad. XP Nothing deadly, at least not for a while; if he'd left this 'headache' for a few days, yeah, he might be toast. But we got it when it started, so he's in the hospital right now. Next in line to be operated on.

The Doc said it was LIKE an Aneurysm, only not. Called it a "Subdermal Arachnoidal Hematoma" or something like that. Tomorrow they do the radioactive dye test to see if the leaking blood is veinal, or arterial in nature. If it's veinal, they can take a bit more time, and there's the good possibility it'll just stop on its own; with the drugs they have him on, it could work. If it's a minor artery that's leaking, they'll have to open him up soon, and seal the damage before it can turn into an outright BURST.

So for anyone that was wondering where I was between 10 PM and 3 AM, when I'm usually online.. I was ferrying people to and from hospitals. XP

Pathetic thing is, if this all turns out badly, it'll be one of the worst things that could happen; My dad is in debt a lot, and should he die, that debt would fall on me and my mom. We'd end up selling the house, pretty much everything else, etc, just to live. XP And since I'm between jobs with no leads and no hits, I'm REALLY up the creek.

Sometimes life is so damned incon-vein-ient. Pardon the pun.

I seem to be the only one who's taking this in stride though; there's the possibility my dad might die under the knife, or sooner or something, and I put only a small bit of worry towards it. My mother and sister on the other hand were beside themselves. Same for his parents and his sis. I was the only one of us all that was calm and collected.

Predictably, my mom and sis were angry that I couldn't share their imagined grief, but the fact remains; he's in the care of professionals and specialists, who will do all they can to keep him from dying. I need not worry unless he suddenly needs organic matter from me, like a Kidney, or a hunk of liver, or a lung. THEN I will worry. But for now, he's in good care, so I need not worry.

Just wish they could see it that way.

Day Before Christmas...

2004-12-24T01:09:00.000-08:00

... And in my room nothing stirred. Typical. Another wasted Xmas opportunity.... (opportunity, my ass.)

been reading Erich Von Daniken lately, so I'd like to just put a bit of a book of his here, that struck me, considering how much knowledge has been lost over the millennia, and how no one realizes it but a scant few.

"What became of the library of the temple at Jerusalem? What became of the library of Pergamon, which was supposed to have housed 200,000 works? When the Chinese Emperor Chi-Huang ordered the destruction of a mass of historical, astronomical, and philosophical books for political reasons in 214 BC, what treasures and secrets went with them? How many texts did the converted Paul cause to be destroyed at Ephesus? And we cannot even imagine the enormous wealth of literature about all the branches of knowledge that have been lost to us owing to religious fanatacism [sic]. How many thousands of irretrievable writings did monks and missionaries burn in South America in their blind religious zeal?"

(excerpt from "Chariots of the Gods?" by Erich Von Daniken, page 69, line 23, all rights reserved)

I think of these things, and despair, at the loss of knowledge. What if a cure for cancer, or the designs for a superior form of energy had been in one of those destroyed scrolls? What if some knowledge from higher up had been there, and had been lost, all because someone declared "These are against our God, and therefore are work of the Devil. We must purge them"? It sickens me.

Anyway, have a great Xmas, all who read this. I'll be trying.

Brain-busting

2004-12-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

To quote Chief Stevenson from "Fear Nothing" by Dean Koontz... "I'm in a mood here...A seriously ugly mood..."

I can't get a job, my parents are getting pissed at me about it... I can't buy Xmas gifts (or if I do, they have to be CHEAP cuz I have to conserve what I have).. everyone in my family is judged on the number, relative value, and SIZE of the gifts... I can't get higher ed till I get a loan, which means get a job.. I'm being torn two ways by my parents about it( "Get FULL TIME" my dad says, cuz he hates me, and "Get PART TIME" by my mom, who wants me to go to school), my sister just tapped them for $8000 bucks for her schooling (which ended recently, in her success, but she NEVER INTENDS TO USE HER DEGREE.. so it's a wasted $8000 she'll never have to pay back...)

I'm burning with pent up rage for no apparent reason... can't sleep, don't have any good games to burn it off in (like Warrior Within, which is as close to a physical rage-fight I can get into and still walk out in one piece)...I can't find the proper gift for my friend, because they don't seem to carry it anymore (they did at one time but not now)... I am waiting for a particular response from someone I'm doing a collab fic with, before I can continue....

And I'm sure this is just the first section of what I'm really feeling, so it's Tip-O-Da-ICEBERG with me right now. If you think you know what's pissing me off, chances are, you only know 1% of it. Can't even comprehend the next 20%... and the rest? Yeah right. I'd be declared insane or worse.

I'm just gonna go fume for no reason right now.

It's Xmas time...

2004-12-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

And I'm not feeling to Xmas-y. I haven't been able to get a new job since I quit. (YES! I FINALLY QUIT! BWA HA HA!!), and I'm worried about my finances.

I couldn't get net hookup at home, so I'm using the old comp to come online...the new comp is my art and storage comp.

On the upside, I've finally finished Chapter 9 of BoF2... it's DONE... but it has to go through some minor revisions when I'm clearer in head. I'm also working on a nice smut fic, but I require a copy of my old 101-ways-to-kill-boredom-on-a-rainy-day fic that I deleted a while ago. Now I'm sure out there there's SOMEONE who illegally copied and saved my story, and stuff... I just want a copy of it BACK so I can make a rewrite. XP

I finally beat Metroid Prime, and got the Fusion suit, so I'm gonna go beat it again. XD playing as Fusion Samus. And for those who never played Metroid Prime or Prime 2: Echoes... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! GO RENT! BUY!... they're both well worth it. seriously. Especially Prime 2.

I also redid a sprite to be like Samus... it's Tigelei, but she's in Samus's powersuit.. XD it's a cute pic I won't post here. I'm working on making a Grav, Fusion, and Phazon suit for her as well as a few other costumes. It'll be sweet.

Back home...

2004-10-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

I've been home for about a week or two.... Not that bad, really.

I still have my comp. My room is set up nicely. Now if I could get a girl, and the net guy would come and hook my comp up like he was supposed to today (he forgot his LADDER)... i'd be almost happy.

Dunno much else to tell....working on stuff... both online and off. I have MUCH to deal with before I find my peace. Peace of mind and peace of soul, and peace of body. (actually I'll settle for Piece of Body, if it's from a female body. >:D if ya catch my drift. That'd give me both peace of mind and soul. XD)

So I have $500....

2004-10-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

...of non-refundable, non-reimbursible store credit with a local PC company. Seems that, before I got this comp, when I went to THEM, when they ran my Visa through the machine, it went through. But because I couldn't get a computer, it went into a sort of 'store credit' thing. So they won't allow me to revoke the store credit, to get my $500 refunded.

And my Visa is now overdrawn over its $500 limit.

So I'm thinking of temporarily opening shop on a sort of mini E-bay kinda thing. I have $500 in credit to use up on computer parts and software. Anyone who wants some stuff should send me their mailing address, and the name and/or designation of the part they need (you know, like NX-B9887-2 Speakers or someshit), I find out what that part would cost here, and include 'sender's fee'... and then provided I get the payment, I send the part.

I have my honour, so as long as I can see the cash or cheque, you can be assured the part would be on its way in a 'fragile' marked box. But smartasses that think they can screw me over need-not even speak to me; UNLESS I see the money before sending... no part will be sent.

I'm also arranging this with (hopefully) some of my more software/hardware hungry friends. I need to pay off my Visa quickly, or it's gonna trash my credit rating permanently.

So. Do I have any takers? Remember to include your email address so I can get in contact privately with you.

I'll be exercising extreme caution and paranoia when it comes to this, and those I deem 'of ill-repute'... ie: those who are most likely not to pay me.... will not get their part. So be honest with me. No lies.

"The Stars are Not Quite Right yet..."

2004-09-17T01:36:00.000-07:00

.. to paraphrase an HPL reference. At the moment I use my mother's computer, at her place. The cable company finally picked up speed (seems they were doing a total Node changeover/upgrade, and it killed my city entirely), and I have my comp at my new place.

In five days, I will be reconnected, and then, in the (slightly mutated) words of HPL "The Stars will be Right, and Kaleb shall be free to wreak havoc, smut, chaos, disorder, more smut, until he is sated." XD

I have a new appreciation for Cthulhu, and why he's insane and evil now. Being offlined for a week, disconnected from the people I care for... it's driven me quite mad, you see. And that was just a WEEK.

Cthulhu was cut off from everything but his own mind for 4.5 BILLION YEARS. Prolly went mad in the first week, and forgot why he was mad in the second, but stayed insane all the way until.. well, he's not quite RELEASED now is he?... otherwise I wouldn't be able to type this, as I'd be either eaten or perhaps rolling around completely ball-crushing, nose-twisting, tied-in-straightjacket, pumped-full-of-Thorazine insane. XD LoL...

Oh yeah, and I bought the first and third 'books' of the Titus Crow series. If I can only lay my hands on the central book...

As for my life, I moved out. I'm content, but not happy. for a few reasons:

1: I still work at my old workplace, which I hate more day by day. Today they installed 'units' on the walls. We think they're video cameras, so we spend our free time flipping the Bird, and throwing rotten fruit at them. And mouthing obscenities

2: My roomies are morons. In a house that has little food, my friend's GF turns to him and says "I get paid tomorrow right? Good. I'm gonna go buy clothes." I wanted to slap her so badly because we need FOOD and all she cares about is her goddamned appearance.

3: My bed is still empty. Yes, I sleep in it, but not the good sleep. My body rests, but my mind is restless beyond all measurable bounds. I need to sate my mind, and yes, my body. Alchohol does nothing but dull the mental pain. 'Solo' is not something I do. Besides, even if I did, it'd be empty, as there's no connection to anything. One-night stands mean nothing, because there's nothing to them. No emotional connection = no satisfaction from the Act, to me. Others disagree. But they don't have my mind.

4: I come home from work, not to a yelling father, a belligerent sister, and a depressed mother, but now to a screaming kid (theirs), an indifferent best friend, and his self-absorbed, overly-emotional, obsessive bitch. And to an empty bed, and the cold mind of an electronic game console, my only real company.

5: Net hookup is five days away.

6: I might have to move home for lack of money, as it seems to be rapidly draining from my accounts. I might last another month, maybe... if I turn frugal...

I will be at home for two days, and then a few more days of silence, and then I'll be returned to the net... where I seem to belong more than in the normal world.

Moving and Transitions

2004-08-31T00:58:00.000-07:00

Man... I haven't been online in three days.. I feel lonely now. Plus, last night, the cable modem decided to go and overheat itself and burnt out the part of itself that connected to the actual cable (it'd register the cable as attached, but you couldn't get a signal to or from it.), so I had to go trade in for the same model, same make, but working, modem.

I put a few new pics up on the Mecha page... Two of the new Ronin Designs. I apologize if the 'instructions' on how to build the mech are weird; I'm using Drawing Board software, and, while it's good, it doesn't give you a straight technical readout like you'd find in a book. If you try and use this mech, and it doesn't come out as 'legal', let me know; I'll send ya the real deal.

I finished painting the "Zig Zag Edition" Cauldron-Born battlemech pewter fig. LOL... I wish I'd had a webcam... it's freakin' sweet... LoL Now my collection includes:

A Wolf-Pack paint-schemed Canis Battlemech (goddamn the figure's heavy.)
A Jungle-camo-schemed Hellhound.
A "Kaleb Personal" schemed Vixen battlemech
and finally, the "Zig Zag edition" Cauldron-Born Battlemech. (I wish to god they made alternate versions, but they never did. Just the basic)

With each one I finish, my skill in painting increases tenfold.

I finished a few other projects, and got a few more projects added to me. Those involved know what they are.

My moving is almost complete... I have to move my furniture and bed soon. I hope to get the comp over there by the time I get the bed there; I don't exactly wanna be disconnected for long. >_> I feel more at home online than anywhere else these days...

That's about all for now. Life is a little hectic, and even on days that I work, I can't be expected to be online, on time. XP Hope people understand.

Also, for now, BoF2 is on hiatus. You all have NO idea how hard writing through Simafort is. XP Goddamned Frogs... Such a boring point in that game. XP

FLCL

2004-08-21T02:48:00.000-07:00

Y'know, I really don't know what to say about this thing.... I mean.. it's only six eps long... Almost NOTHING of it makes sense... and when it DOES seem to make some sense,.... they toss in something that STILL makes no sense. :S

Near as I can tell, the entire series (except for the last few minutes of the last ep), occur within the kid's brain. Sort of.. a symbolism of the struggles a kid's gotta go through on his way to growing up. Typical GAINAX approach. They did the same thing with Eva. Only Eva made sense.

It's a shame though... For all the 'intimate' moments they showed, without nude and stuff (cuz there's no nude in it, other than an ass at one point), I would have thought Naota would have either been with his (now long absent) older brother's former GF (who liked giving him hickies, but was mildly unstable mentally), or that 'tough' girl at his school.. the one that was the daughter of the mayor. Though.. I suppose the ending DID leave that one open to thought; She WAS drinking his drink after all. LOL....And whenever a girl drank his drink, it seems it was sort of a sign she liked him.

... and naturally, they never explain what FLCL actually means. (I suspect though, that it's a shrouded reference to physical and mental maturity, in regards to sex. I could be wrong though. :P LoL... I think I'll have to watch the eps over again to find out for sure.)

Now.. if only I could find episodes 3- End for the Gunbuster series...

BWA HAHAHAHAH!!!

2004-08-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

XD I just learned of the most hilarious thing I've heard of in a long time; the Ultimate in Irony.... XD

I won't post it here, so if you wanna know, just ask me privately. XD LOL!

'scuse me, I gotta go and try and stop laughing so hard. I might break a rib... XD LOL....

Oddly... I am Projectless.

2004-08-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

I recently completed one of my more important literary projects for a friend, and now, I realize that I am quite Projectless. Any remaining projects seem less important, or simply too annoying to pursue for various reasons, and at least one of them, i'm still waiting for feedback on. I expect no feedback though, as the people I want the feedback from ignored me entirely.

Thus, I am tempted to remove my chapter(s) from the Zig Zag Room group, because it seems... no one holds any interest in them. A critical question I asked of EVERYONE in the group, regarding the fic, and whether I should be writing other stuff, was utterly and completely ignored. Not just ignored. Posted over and forgotten.

It's quite disheartening, you know.

...

2004-08-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

I just got a new blog, as it seems Ujournal crashed or something, and I expect not to get my account back there. So I'm merely replacing it.

I figured out why this one chick who I thought liked me had never responded to my phonecalls; she'd picked up a boy-of-summer and was with him. -_-#

It's times like this that I wonder if what I suspect about my own personal destiny is true. And usually, it is.

So my only place left is here, online... and even here, I have no home. No place to come to rest in.

I am the Last.